Our 1st meeting 10 year ago

10 years ago today Bill and I anxiously waited in the waiting room at Holt to meet Julian. It would be our very first face to face meeting. Until that moment we had only seen 1 picture and the love in our hearts grew from that 1 picture.

We were about to meet our future, a little boy who was so longed for, a little boy who would turn us from a couple into a family.

We had so much wonder & excitement that day as we prepared all our things at our hotel. Our cab ride was mostly in silence just smiling and nervous about so many things. We were about to experience a moment like no other, a moment that would change us forever. This day was a day we so longed for and it took way longer than we ever hoped it would but it was all God's plan, all his timing.

I will never forget that 1st moment his foster mom walked into the room. I can never explain the love that overflowed at just 1 look, 1 touch of a tiny hand. At that moment I could never have imagined the amazing journey God would take us on over the last 10 years. God truly taught us to walk by faith.

My dear Julian I hope one day you will know how very much we love and adore you. We are so thankful to God and your birth mother for entrusting you into our lives. We are so thankful to your foster mom for loving you as no other could for your first few months and helping lay the foundation for the amazing young man you are becomming.

The days to follow this amazing day went by quickly but at time not fast enough until we were able to take you with us and become a forever family.

The love we have for all the people who cared for you from the moment of your conception to the moment you were placed in my arms by your foster mom and we were sent on our way to be a family I just hope some day you all will know how much of a gift Julian is to us and how we will be forever thankful for you all.

Springs coming

It's a beautiful day outside and I'm thinking of Spring. It's been a sad winter with mild weather and hardly any snow. The kids and I love snow so it's sad for us to have a winter without it.

Life just keeps getting busier for us but we love it.

The kids are all getting so big, I often wonder why time has to go so quickly but then I think that there are times when I can't wait for time to move us to the next thing.

I have been thinking alot about 3 amazing woman in Korea who made a very difficult decision to place their children for adoption. I also have been thinking about 4 (possibly 8) absolutely amazing woman in Korea who raised our children until they were ready to come home to us. For all those amazing women, men & families please know how much we treasure all that you have done for us without even knowing who we are.

I have just had this feeling lately that I so wish we were more connected. I think of Korea often and all those amazing people we have met and never met. I just wish there was a way to be in contact. We think of all of you more than you will ever know. We talk about each and every person who made it possible for all 4 of our children to be with us. We want our children to know how truly loved they all are and how much history they have.

The kids are getting older and as they grow they are starting to have more questions about who they are and where they have come from. It's all coming so much quicker than I expected and with so much more passion and desire to understand who they are. I pray that I/we are doing all we can for our amazing children that God has blessed us with.

There are never enough hours to do all that I'd like to in a day, week, month but I will update when I can and send letters as soon and as often as I can even if they never get read. I pray that one day we will be able to locate all families and keep in touch.

Photo Card

Skiing Penguin Christmas

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October pictures

Kai kicking out hunger

fundraiser for local food pantry

Jana & Karley on

Karley school field trip

to the local Farm

Jana & Karley supervising

Julian carving the pumpkin

The finished product

My pretty princess

in her school parade

Halloween night

Before the trick or treating

Once they were all done








Our October snow storm

before Halloween

Julian & Baxter

Some recent photo's

June 2011- Kai, Karley, Julian & Jana








Jana July 2011

Jana's 1st Gotcha Day July 2011

Kai, Karley & Julian August 2011

Jana, Julian, Karley & Kai-

vacation August 2011

Mary, Nick, Jana
Karley & Marissa

Bach Party August 2011

Kai & Karley

Boardwalk August 2011

Silly faces

Boardwalk August 2011

Kai, Karley, Julian & Jana

On the beach
August 2011

Having fun in the rain

at Julian's soccer game

August 2011

Baxter- our new addition

Boy's 1st day of School
August 2011

Karley 1st day of school

September 2011

Trying to catch up

I had really thought I would be able to keep up with this blog but being a Mom to 4 active children is proving much more hectic than I ever dreamed but I wouldn't change a single thing about it.

The time is just flying by. Since last I posted we celebrated Jana's 1st Gotcha Day, her 2nd birthday, her referral day, enjoyed a great summer vacation, adopted a dog from a shelter, the boys went back to school, Julian & I celebrated our birthday, soccer season is back in full swing & Karley started pre-school. It's been super busy at our house and I love it that way.

When we adopted Baxter, a 2 year old Cocker Spaniel most people thought we were nuts but believe it or not only having 1 dog made things feel out of balance. Now Gypsy is happy having a companion and Baxter didn't take long at all to settle in and make himself completely at home. Just like everyone else to join the Stewart family he was meant to be and fit in perfectly.

I face daily challenges with parenting as I'm sure does most families. I can't help but wish I had the secrete to keeping everyone happy at all times but I know that's impossible. Watching the children grow so quickly and become more & more independent is both amazing and scary. It's Amazing to watch the confident, secure people they are growing into and scary to think that they are growing and maturing too fast. Letting go is not easy.

This weekend will be 3 years since Karley came home and I just can't believe where the time has gone. She started pre-school this week and she loves it. She can't wait to get there and is anxious for me to leave so she can start her day. I'm thankful for getting the one on one time with Jana but at the same time I can't wait to go pick Karley up every day. I realized the other day when I dropped Karley off that next year will be here before I know it and Jana will be starting pre-school. Wasn't it just 10 years ago yesterday? How did that much time fly by me?

Each year as we remember 9/11 it has 2 different meanings for me. It will always be the day our lives changed forever, the day when we lived thru a horrific part of history but it will always be the day that started as an incredible memory for me. On Sept 10th 2001 we sat in our Adoption Agency's meeting room for a day long seminar and discussed with a group what it would mean to become and inter-racial family. We discussed what adopting form another country would mean to us and our future child. We gained insight on how our loves would soon be changing forever. And the next day on 9/11 we submitted the last piece of paperwork for us to move forward with our homestudy and our dream of becoming parents/a family at last. The day started off with amazing hope and promise but it wasn't long before that hope changed to terror. I'm so thankful for my faith because without it I'm not sure how much more difficult life would have been.

I'm incredibly thankful to my family and friends but most especially God for taking us down the path we have traveled the last 10 years and for the love and support that has helped us along the way.

Need to run for now but hopefully I can post pictures soon. And to my follower from Korea I so wish you would let us know if you are one of our foster families or birth families or just someone who likes to follow our journey. You can always email me at korea.again@yahoo.com if you want additional contact.

Wishing all a blessed day.

Today I grieve

Today I grieve...

Casey my baby. My girl who helped me through so many difficult times in my life and got me from those dark days to holding our first baby. Somehow she always knew when it was a bad day and when I needed love the most. The last 13+ years I have been blessed by you. I wasn't ready for you to go but I'm glad your at peace. It's so hard to believe that just 5 weeks ago we found out you were sick and now your gone.

You truly were a gift from God to get me though the tough times. :(