Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving!

We have so much to be Thankful for this year, my list is endless. Most importantly at the moment is that Jana is home with us and we get to celebrate together.

I'm super excited to be spending the day with just the 6 of us this year. No phones, no computer, no outside world just us for this day. I so need to recharge of my family.

Celebrate

I'm celebrating a few things:

1) November is National Adoption Month- Celebrate it with anyone. If you never adopted but have a heart for it google adoption and look into it. If your not interested in growing your family through adoption then maybe you have a heart for families who wish too so check out one of the many fundraising groups like www.adoptionbug.com and help support a family make their forever dream come true. There are also many great agencies looking for funding. If you want more information on any of these ideas please feel free to email me at korea.again@yahoo.com and be sure to reference my blog in your subject line.

2) Jana home 4 months today- 4 months ago today we met Jana and her foster family in Korea. Time sure is flying and I can't believe she is with us and has completed our family. Jana is truly an amazing addition to our family and her and I are finally bonding really well.
Although life is always overwhelming for me these days I wouldn't change a thing because before I know it everything will change again and life will become more routine.

3) Our anniversary- We will be celebrating our wedding anniversary this month. I love reflecting on how much we have overcome over the years and how we are now a family of 6. Once upon a time we wondered if we would ever have children and now we look back and see the amazing things God has done for us. Our life is a true testament of what amazing things God can do if you just have the faith. We have overcome road blocks that were just unpasssable to someone who doesn't have faith.

4) The Season- I love all 4 four season but fall by far is my favorite, all those rich colors. Every day it's like looking at a canvas of beautiful colors....

5) Life & changes- life is always hectic but I'm trying to embrace it for what it is and be thankful for all we have, all I have. God was merciful and saved our young dog 2 weeks ago when it didn't look like she could make it. Yesterday we lost a pet frog that has been with us for several years despite my efforts to save her. It was especially hard because it was Kai's frog and he lost both his gold fish's this year. It's hard trying to explain to Kai why Julian's goldfish & frog are doing well but his have passed especially when I'm the one caring for all the animals.

We have been under constant attack it seems and some days I just want to scream but then I remember it's not just us and the things we are dealing with are so small compared to what some other's have to face. We lost a neighbor to cancer just a few days ago. I can't imagine how her family is feeling, the loss they are dealing with. She was diagnosed just a couple months ago and so fast she was taken. A very dear family friend is in the hospital undergoing a very harsh treatment for a rare cancer. She is in total isolation. I think of just these two things and I realize all that God has abundantly blessed us with and how thankful I need to be. I just need to keep believing and having faith and taking 5 minutes at a time and we will make it through. It seems like every time so many things are happening in our life and when life looks the bleakest it's then that God is preparing us for something so big we couldn't possible comprehend at the time and after wards we look back and realize he was just preparing us for the next step. So I have to wonder whats coming... it must be something pretty big.... so I choose to have faith or "Walk by Faith" (song by Jeremy Camp) as I have been for the last several years.

So to me this is a time to Celebrate all the wonderful things I have to be thankful for.

My header

So it's been brought to my attention that I really need to change my page header to add Jana's picture. It's not that I forgot but I was waiting until we finalized her adoption which won't be for another few months.

If you know me then you can most likely find recent pictures on my facebook page or email me and I'd be happy to share, you know how I love my beautiful family and posting their pictures cause I'm a proud mama.

Busy

Life is busy... good busy but busy non the less.

Wow so Jana is home almost 4 months now. She has settled in really well. She now has 4 teeth and more are coming. She is only 6 lbs less than Karley who is 18 months older. She eats everything and is finally starting to drink from a sippy cup.

The boys are back to school and our schedule is in full swing.
Julian is doing great in school, he is in the gifted program and just started the advanced math class a few weeks ago. He is managing school well. This year he is playing the viola and loves it (so far). Julian's fall soccer is almost done but before we know it the winter indoor season will begin

Kai is doing well in school too. He is my big first grader now. I still miss home during the day and often look at the clock at 11:30 thinking I have to go get him.

Kai just tested last week for his blue belt in Karate. We are so happy that he found something that he just loves. He would love to take music lessons as well but right now there just aren't enough hours in the day.

Karley is growing into such an amazing little girl. She has so much personality and definitely know what she likes. She is all girl but still can keep up with her brothers. She is so amazingly beautiful.

Jana is such a pretty little girl. She is right in the middle of everything and is very strong willed. I don't see her letting anyone take advantage of her. She is very easy going but she wants what she wants and lets you know it. I adore having girls, if I only knew what I was missing before.

We just had the girls dedicated. It was a beautiful day but I was too distracted to enjoy the day. Our dog who is 3 got very sick last week and I had to rush her to the hospital. She was bleeding internally and her prognosis was not good. We went to visit every day, twice a day during visiting hours and we prayed alot. Thank God she had a strong determination and she managed to pull through. Thankfully we were able to bring her home last night and I will be watching her carefully for quite some time and nursing her back to health.

Hopefully one of these days' I will get some new pictures up. Always alot going on just not always enough time to get the important things done let alone Blog but I'm gonna try to be better especially through the holidays.

So so thankful for my amazing family, I love each and everyone one so much.

Looking back~ 1 year ago today

1 Year ago today I was walking thru Genuardi's a little after 11am with Julian, his friend Harrison, Kai & Karley when my phone rang. I remember it all so clearly, we were walking down the bread isle when my phone ran and it was my caseworker. I didn't answer, I couldn't answer because somehow I knew what she was about to tell me and I was in the supermarket with the kids. I started to cry, then my phone rang again this time it was Bill, I started to cry harder and the boys just looked at me. Harrison asked if I was ok and I said yes and the boys said "oh those are happy tears" I couldn't answer Bill's call cause his call just confirmed what I was thinking. A moment later he texted me to call him "right away" saying he just talked to our caseworker.

I have no idea how I knew what was going on but somehow I just did. I was now standing in front of the egg case when I realized I had to call back. (To this day when the boys are food shopping with me as soon as we get to the eggs they say "this is where we got the call) When Bill answered the phone I just simply said "so who has a sibling" and he started asking me questions thinking I talked to Patti. I told him I didn't but she tried to call so I just knew what it was about. All Bill could tell me was that Kai had a little sister and they wanted to place her with us. He asked me to call Patti but I couldn't possible until I left the store.

I finished shopping and we left for home. Thank goodness Harrison had been with us before or I'm sure and maybe he still did think I was a nut. I cried all the way to checkout & all the way home. When I got in the car I called Leeanne first, because I wasn't sure what to do and she said of course you will say yes but I was worried about what Bill thought. Just 2 nights before Bill said we were done. Before I talked to Patti I had to figure out how to convince Bill this baby had to be with us, she was family, I didn't even know anything about her yet but that didn't matter, she was family, OUR family. Next I called Judy who said just do it. It will work out, just do it. Then I called Bill back, he couldn't believe I hadn't talked to Patti yet. I told him we needed to talk first. He couldn't believe I thought he would say no. He said "are you kidding me of course were adopting her she's ours we will figure it out".

I was so relieved I didn't have to talk him into it. Of course I had no idea how we would pay for this adoption we just finalized Karley's a few months before but I knew we had to say yes and we would figure it out.

I called Patti and tried to be calm but I was anything but. I got as many details as I could and begged her to send a picture right away. Of course I told her the answer was yes. We talked about the money and I told her I wasn't sure how we would come up with it but we would. I then called the program coordinator and she gave me what information she has. Soon after I got the first picture of our beautiful daughter...

Bill and I took a great "walk by faith". We prayed alot and believed that God would bring us to completion and sure enough he has. As we hold Jana in our arms we so so thankful for our faith and our family, friends, strangers and adoptionbug.com. All of who made it possible for baby Tae-hui to be with us today. In case we haven't said it enough.. Thank you every one of you we will be eternally grateful forever for all you have done for us.

Just thinking.. reflecting and being thankful

I have to admit I'm feeling a bit of a loss. A family we know left this week for Korea to pick up their daughter. It made me think a little harder about the process. While we were going thru it I said I could never do it again, the waiting was just so hard and the process draining. I'm not saying we are adopting again I'm just saying I feel a bit of a loss but only for moments then I hear someone screaming, fighting or just calling me and thank God for the amazing children he blessed us with.


I do however check my email hoping for some sort of news from our agency and there isn't any. I miss those updates, pictures, well baby checkups, always looking for news that never comes now that our princess is home. I also miss the anticipation of traveling to Korea. Our trip happened way too fast for me. Every time I hear a family is leaving for Korea I get a bit jealous. I loved it there, I didn't get enough time to really soak in the culture and there was so much sightseeing we just didn't get to do. I guess that's better then not wanting to go back but I can't wait, we plan on returning as a family in a few years, I so wish it was sooner though.


So many times I found myself looking everywhere on the subway, streets, in cabs, the mall, the markets... everywhere we went I questioned "do you know our children? Are you their birthmother, sibling, family of any sort? " I feel a desire to know more. But maybe just maybe I know all I need to.


This week I read an article about adult Korean adoptees and how many of them question where they fit in socially. Are they Korean, Are they American What exactly are they? I didn't know this but evidently some Korean adoptees are not accepted by other Korean children because they were raised by a family of a different race. Could this really be so in today's world?


Sometime I let myself get so stressed over these things but then I realize I'm doing everything I think I can to make sure my children grow up healthy, happy and with a knowledge of who they are and where they came from. We are very open with them and celebrate their birth families for entrusting us to raise them as our own. We are not perfect by far but we certainly love them and celebrate them for who they are, our precious children of God.

Nothing Special

Can't believe it's 2:26 in the afternoon and I have a few minutes to myself. Kai & Karley just laid down for a nap, Julian is reading and Jana should be up any minute from her nap so I thought I'd do a quick visit.

Jana is home 6 weeks today. Really where does time go? Finally her 1st 2 lower font teeth broke the skin on Saturday which was her 13month birthday. They still are not completely thru and she is really having quite a hard time with it. She has been pulling her hair, jamming her fingers in her ears and been just plain upset all the time. I took her to the doctor to be sure she didn't have the ear infection Karley & I had but they said she looked good. I feel so helpless and bad for her. My heart aces when I can't fix it for them :(

Julian & Kai have grown up so much this last year. I was just looking at pictures even from Christmas til now and I can't believe how different they both look, mature. It actually makes me sad, time is going just way too quickly. In a few short day's (12) summer break will be over and they will be returning to school. I just can't stand the thought of it. And my baby Kai will be gone all day now that he's starting 1st grade, what will I do. (Ok I do know what I'm going to do I'm just saying I'll miss him~ ALOT).

Julian is starting 4th grade- WHAT I think, how is that possible? We just brought him home yesterday- right!? He is looking forward to being back with his friends and in school learning. I'm really lucky there, he loves school. He is truly special... Well ok they all of them are truly special, really they are You have no idea yet but wait and see.

Karley is dying to go to school. There is daycare behind our house and she'll look out my bedroom window and say please mommy I want to play with the kids. When we bought the boys their school supplies she wanted to get hers too. What do i do? I'm not ready for her to start pre-school but she definitely is. She is such an independent spirit, so ready to set out on her own & explore. Sometimes I so wish I had contact with their birth families so they knew what amazing children they blessed me with.

Karley really cracks me up... Today I hear her say "Oh no you didn't" "Kai you better open up this door & let me in". Then a few minutes later she's singing to the boys "Don't push me cause I'm close to the edge" I just have to laugh so hard at her. She doesn't miss a single thing. Which presents me with another problem... The boys are watching age appropriate shows but then they repeat things they hear and Karley doesn't miss a single work of it and repeats it some other time but always in the right context. How is that possible that a 2 1/2 yr old gets it??

Ok now on to those Tadpoles of ours... What am I going to do with 44 + or - tadpoles? Our zoo is overflowing We already have 2 frogs that's how we have so many tadpoles so what now. I have 1 home for 2 of them but no one else wants them. The boys already talked me into keeping 4 so what do I do with the rest?? Praying some kind families decide to take some I just have no room for that many- REALLY we don't have the room. If your reading this and want some they are easy to take care of just check out http://www.growafrog.com/ and see how easy to care for they are. I'll be happy to send you some just let me know- Did I say free yes they are free to a good home as long as your not planning on feeding them to another pet. It really is cool to watch them grow into frogs.

Ok one last thing for now. Someone from Seoul has been logging on and reading my blog. I'm really curious who you are. I'd love for you to contact me. You can email me at korea.again@yahoo.com if you'd like.

Questions to Bloggers

First~ thank you for taking the time to read/visit my Blog. It's really just a place for me to say whatever going on in my head, a place to get it all out and feel better.

I am looking for some feedback though

1) I really need to change my layout but I'm so computer challenged so if anyone can give me some pointers I so would welcome the advice.

2) I have had over 1500 hits since I started this site but very few comments. I'm sure most of you don't find what I have to say that interesting but Who are You? I'd love to know if you enjoy what I share or don't enjoy it. I accept constructive criticism so let me know what you think

3) I have livefeed tracker but all the good that does cause I don't know who any of you are. Is there a way to find out? Just wondering who's visiting me.

4) Do any of you live Bucks County, PA? Looking for a local playgroup to join once the boys are back in school.

5) What's the secret to keeping the kids happy, playing with them but finding time to clean your house? Am I the only once with way too much clutter. Believe it or not I once was a super organized person, how do I make that person come back?

6)Again, thank you for visiting, I hope in some way you enjoy or find it interesting.

Hoping for some feedback
thanks

First family trip

The last 2 weekends we went and stayed with AnnMarie at her place at the Jersey Shore. It was so nice to get away as a family and we even get to bring the dogs with us.

Jana just loves the pool, actually all 4 of the kids love the pool. We took Jana to the beach this past weekend and at first she wasn't sure what to make of the sand. She wouldn't put her feet down on it. After we were there for about an hour cousin Rachel picked Jana up and sat her in the sand and she didn't complain. Rachel played for the next while with Jana in the sand and she really seemed to enjoy it.

The boys played almost the entire day in the ocean and Karley built sand castles and just had fun in the sand. We had two great extended weekends. We all enjoyed walks around the campgrounds, the lake, the pools, game room, bonfires with roasting marshmallows and s'mores. Of course the favorite for the boys is the boardwalk and the rides which they got to do twice. Jana's 1st ride was the merry go round but she wouldn't sit on the horse, Karley got her brother's to ride the toddles rides with her and Julian did the roller coasters with Dad.

All in all we were blessed with beautiful weather, good times and lots of good company. Not bad for last minute planning. Now we will focus on getting ready for school to start and soccer season.

Just wondering

Caution.. personal thoughts you may not be interested in...


I'm just wondering..... when you get to child #4 do people not care anymore?

I'm not complaining I'm just wondering
Jana has been with us for 1 month now and at least half of the family has yet to meet her. Some members haven't even called and I'm talking siblings.

We got 1 card to welcome her home and 1 friend cooked us dinner which was so super awesome. I have a friend who I met recently that is just wonderful with facebook messages and reads my blog and I know if she lived near me she would be around and I'm so thankful for her.

I have to say though I'm a little hurt.. My father-in-law and 1 of my sisters calls us often to check in but other than that not much of anything from anyone else. When I see people they ask how's it going and if I say stressful they say well this is what you wanted. It's like well you went from 3 to 4 children so shame on you. Even those with 4 children don't have time. I feel kind of alone.

Please understand I'm not upset with anyone and I really don't mean for this to be oh poor me but I just can't help but wonder if having 4 children puts you in an entire different category?

Well I'm determined not to let it get to me. I'm blessed to have my family and friends, all of them weather they choose to be part of our lives or not. I happen to think those who are too busy to meet baby Jana are the ones loosing out but when they eventually decide they have time we'll be here

1st Month

Today is 1 month since Jana joined our family. Time is just flying by and it seems like she has been with us forever. I feel like I'm dreaming but never wake up.

Jana's transition as been amazing. She absolutely loves her brothers and sister. She acts like she had been here forever. It took her 2 days to switch to our time and she has been sleeping thru the night for 12 hours since her 2nd real night here. She takes good naps and eats like a champ. I wonder where she fits all the food and she likes everything I feed her which is a plus. We are working on switching her to milk and so far she is doing great with that too.

Jana loves her crib, is very active and babbles us a storm. I wonder if she is talking some Korean but I don't know. When she is really upset she does say oma which is Mom in Korean just not sure if I spelled it right.

When we first brought her home she would cry if she wanted to move because she wanted us to carry her every where. Just this past week she realized how quick she could get places crawling herself and she zooms all over with a big smile on her face now.

When she is tried she does need to nap. With Julian, Kai & Karley we could kind of push the naps if needed but not with Jana, when it's nap time she melts down and must go to her crib. She only takes very short naps in the car so no on the go napping for her which makes life with 3 other children more difficult but it's all working out and we will be past this stage before we know it.

I don't get to post like I wish I could and my time to myself is almost nonexistent but I'm sure one day not so very long from now I'll be wishing for day's like these where someone needs me so I intend to suck it up and enjoy what I can.

Happy 1st month Jana, I hope you love it here.

Pictures

Our tour guides

Concert at Insadong mall

Jana eating an popsicle before we left & loving it

First morning with us and Jana is a happy girl

Jana after a few hours with us (after napping)

Mommy & Jana together at last!

Boys being silly about town

Boy's with Julian's Foster Mom, her sister & Mrs. You

Our Hotel- it was awesome

Pool at Hotel

The boys food on plane- they gave them so much

My 3 boys on plan

Getting settled

I can't believe we have been home for 3 weeks now.

We arrived home on Tuesday evening July 6th into JFK and were greeted by Karley, My Mom, Bill's parents, Judy & Joe, Alicia, Joe & Pastor Steve. Sally arrived about an hour after we did and her and Joe brought our luggage home. As much as we enjoyed the trip it was great to be back and be a complete family.

I was going to post airport pictures but I have none. Somehow I deleted them from my camera and I know our camera was the only one to have a family picture so I'm so disappointed :(.

Since we have been home we celebrated Kai's finalization day on July 8th and his referral day on July 11th. We celebrated Jana's 1st birthday on July 14th with lunch as Korea Garden in Blue Bell. We dressed Jane in her Han bok and had lunch and a great cake from Agape Bakery.

I'm still in shock but it only took Jane 2 days to get on our schedule and she has been sleeping 12 hours thru the night since. She also takes a great nap. She is very happy all the time unless she is hungry or tired. I'm not able to switch up her schedule much but we are working it out.

We went swimming at Mom Mom & Pop Pop's, Uncle Chuck & Aunt Patti's and with Georgeanna, Chuck & Kevin and Jana just loves the water. All 4 of the kids are fish so I'm glad everyone likes the water.

We are planning on a few days at the beach so I'm hoping that goes well. I don't have much time to post these days but I can't complain things are really settling in and I'm so happy to have Jana home with us at last and moving on. She fits right in as if she has been wit us forever.

We haven't had many visitors yet but Jana does great with everyone she meets. I think her adjustment has been one the the easiest so far. I am so thankful to God for the amazing blessings he has given us.

I wanted to add some pictures but for some reason they are not adding right so I'll do a separate post for them.

Part II

Sorry it took so long to post this but life has kept me busy. Most of this post was written in Korea and has been saved as a draft. I hope you enjoy our account...

When we got back to Holt after lunch we walked in to find Tae & her Foster Family waiting for us. I barely got a glimpse of her when DJ pulled me to the side to tell me the Foster Mom on her way in was fostering a little girl from our agency. I was anxious to take some pictures of Lucy for her family as I told them I would if I saw her. While I was meeting Lucy and her Foster Mom I missed the initial meeting of Tae & here everyone went upstairs to the meeting room. After I snapped a few pictures & DJ gave me an update on Lucy I realized my family was gone & DJ took me upstairs.


When I entered the room I found everyone sitting around fussing over the baby. I was instantly in love when I saw her. She was so much more beautiful in person and has such pretty eyelashes. We were so lucky to get to meet the Foster Dad & their daughter as well. With the boys we only got to meet foster mom.


It was obvious how much the FF loved our daughter. The fd was reluctant to let us hold Tae but the FM gave her to me for 1 minute when the daughter came & took her back. We sat with them for about 20 minutes or so asking questions and taking pictures of her and taking turns holding her. Before we knew it it was time to go meet the Doctor for the pre-flight physical. It wasn't the usual doctor and this guy just listened to her heart & lungs and said she was good to travel and sent us on our way. DJ took some photos of all of us with the FF then we went back upstairs to exchange gifts and for one more good bye. The FM gave Tae a bottle and then gave her to us with a bag with some pictures, 2 big cans of formula, some clothes, her favorite pillow, a stuffed animal we sent for Tae, some toys for her for the plane ride and some snacks she likes and a han bok for her 1st birthday. We told them we would have a traditional 1st Birthday celebration for her and send them some pictures.


The time just flew by and we forgot all about the video camera. I had carefully planned everything so we wouldn't miss a single minute of our meeting and the day just passed and I missed too many pictures and taking a video. I wish I had someone there who would have captured it all for us.

Words can't express the amazement of meeting our daughter and holding her for the first time. Watching as she interacted with Julian & Kai and how she took to Bill so quickly. My post certainly doesn't capture the beauty of this amazing day but it is something I will forever hold dear in my heart. After such a long wait she was finally with us.


DJ walked the family out then came back to review Tae's file with us and give us directions about clearing immigration at the airport.


DJ walked us out and grabbed a taxi for us and told him where to take us. As we got into our taxi we saw the FF outside in their car just watching us and crying. It absolutely broke my heart. We got in the taxi and set off for our hotel when Tae started crying and calling for Oma. She cried the entire ride home and for the next hour until she fell asleep. My heart was breaking for her and her loss. I felt so bad for the boys they were upset as well to see her sob. Kai got upset, started crying and said "I made a mistake, we need to take her back. I shouldn't have wisher for her". I felt so bad for him but explained that baby Tae was meant to be with us. Although she would have a hard time adjusting she soon would become comfortable with us and settle in because we are her family and we are all supposed to be together. It definitely was one the the hardest afternoons of my life.

While Tae was sleeping on my lap we asked the boys what name they liked. They both were calling her Jaci at the agency but I told them they needed to look at her face and decide how they thought she looked like and not just pick a name because they liked that name. Julian quickly said although he liked Jaci he though she looked like a Jana and Bill agreed. Kai wasn't sure at first but then decided he agreed.


After Tae woke from her nap she was smiling and so happy. The boys really wanted to go swimming so we took her to the pool and she loved it. She stayed in for about an hour with Bill and didn't want to get out. We returned to our room and everyone was exhausted. I washed Tae which she really didn't like and then she ate and started crying again. After about 30 minutes I got her to sleep. She slept for a short time and woke hysterical, I couldn't settle her down so Bill took her and after about 20 minutes he was able to get her to sleep.


We were all exhausted so we went to bed. Tae woke at 3am, we gave her a bottle & called my Mom on Skype so she could meet Karley. After a very short talk we went back to bed and got 3 more hours sleep. Once everyone was awake we called Karley again and this time Aunt Judy & Uncle Joe met Tae too and she was on the floor dancing & playing with the boys.

Our Last Day

We went down to breakfast and Tae loved eggs and rice. After breakfast we went for a walk to Lotte mart, love that store and wish we would have found it sooner. They are like WalMart but much cooler. On the first floor it was like a supermarket but then you can take the escalator up with your shopping cart and there are clothes and bedding, a Toys R Us, a section with a few CD's.... this store had everything. The boys picked out Hello Kitty flutes for both girls and we bought the baby some clothes because everything I packed was too big. We got some baby food and then had to get back to the Hotel to pack. I could have spent an entire day in that store but we were out of time.

We took a taxi back to the Hotel and ran up to our room. Bill convinced them to give us to 2pm to check out so we could pack and i really needed the time. Before we knew it we had to leave. Our trip was amazing and our time went way too quick. As we sat in the hotel lobby waiting for our taxi back to the airport we talked about all the things we just didn't have time to do. We decided we really need to go back in a few years as a family. We thought this trip was a once in a lifetime trip but we realized we really need to come back as a complete family and really plan our trip better so we can do alot of sightseeing.

At this moment I can't single out the best part of the trip because there are so many memorable things that I will treasure forever. I know my account is no where as moving as our experience but I do hope if anyone reading this has the opportunity to travel they should definitely do it. It's truly an experience you will treasure forever. The thought of traveling with 4 children 7 years form now is overwhelming but we will start saving now and maybe have the help of a travel agent to plan it out but it's something I want to do for our family. I am in love with Korea and look forward to our trip back. How could I not be, it's where our lives changed from a couple to a family, and now a family of 6.

Meeting Baby Tae & the boys Foster Mom's

I prepared this post in Korea but needed some time before I posted. This post is really personal but in hopes of giving a realistic account I've decided to share this information.

My account of Tuesday July 6th in Seoul Korea
Today is a day I have been waiting for since we got our sibling call on August 21st while food shopping in Genuardi's. We were at the egg case as the boys like to remind me ever time we are food shopping. This is a call I had once dreamed about but never dared believe would happen. What are the chances that a birthmother would have 2 babies she couldn't keep. And having a daughter 7 years after having a son. We had 3 amazing children on that day when I woke up. I was a Mom to 3 children that I never imagined I would have. I was settling into having 2 boys and 1 girl and we were done, so I thought. Just 2 days before was the conversation we had that we had been blessed with 3 amazing children and to hope for more was testing fate. Not to mention we live in a small townhouse and were not getting any younger. It was time for us to start focusing on the future and not a time to start over, or so we thought.

On this morning our lives changed yet again which brought us to today. It's been a very long and difficult journey but never did a day pass that we didn't know God was leading us down this road. It wasn't always ease to have the strong faith we needed to have but none the less we did have faith.

We had planned on taking the subway to our meeting but as it neared 11am and I looked at the 16 bags of gifts we needed to get to Holt in one piece we decided to take a taxi. We made it to Holt 5 minutes early and arrived at Holt more stressed than I had ever been. I had packed the backpack with 2 camera's the boys video camera's, disposable camera's and our video camera. I had such plans on how we would record this day but the moment I stepped out of the taxi that all was lost somewhere in the back of my brain.

We walked up to the second floor and there was a foster mom talking to someone so we had to wait to get past. Finally after standing in the hall for a little bit Bill excused himself & went to find DJ. She took us right in to see the boys foster mom's who were already waiting for us. It was amazing, they both looked exactly the same. They jumped up and grabbed the boys and hugged them, Of course I wasn't prepared with the camera so I didn't capture this moment. Kai's Foster Mom made him climb up on her back, it was really cute. DJ later told us his FM said he loved being there so she put him on her back to see if he remembered being there. We enjoyed some light conversation and updated the FM on what they boys have been doing. They both had a handful of pictures with them, Julian's fm had pictures of when he was a baby and we enjoyed looking at them. She told us she was happy to see he cut his hair shorter. Kai's fm had current pictures of him and they all shared the photo's. We shared pictures of the boys with Karley and some of the new baby. The boys fm's happen to be good friends so it was nice that we were all able to meet together.

After what seemed like a way too short visit we were off to lunch. Kai's fm walked out with us but couldn't join us because she had a baby at home to go care for. She reminded us that she has a grandson the same age as Kai. I remember from the pictures she had given us that her son & wife lived with them and they had a baby very close in age to Kai. She gave us all a big hug and left us then. It was so sad to see her go so soon but Kai was happy for the time he got to spend with her. They were walking hand in hand and it made me cry to see them together again.

Julian was much more quiet and shy. He sat with and walked with his fm but he was too quiet. He walked to lunch with her but all the time was looking over his shoulder for us. When we arrived at the restaurant he didn't want to sit with her but sat across from her next to Kai. He started to get filled up and asked me to please come sit beside him. If he could of climbed inside of me he would have. Julian is a thinker but has a hard time expressing his feelings, were still not exactly sure what was going thru his head but he was scared. In the end he told us he was really glad he got to meet her.

We had lunch at a Vietnamese place close to Holt. It was really good. Julian didn't want to eat so I ordered something to share with him. Our conversation was light and we got a chance to know DJ better. Julian's fm & her sister were worried about him because he wouldn't even look at them and most of the meal he looked like he would break down in tears. I offered to take him outside or the bathroom to talk with him but he didn't want to go. He was so scared but at the same time didn't want to miss a moment of this meeting. By the end of lunch he was doing much better. He walked back to the agency hand in hand with his foster mother and she was so happy to have this time with him. I took lots of pictures but some are missing from my camera so I'm not sure what happened. It was so hot and the humidity was 98% so I think my camera wasn't working properly.

I feel like my words are not enough to express the priceless visit we enjoyed with these woman. It was so amazing to see our boys back with these woman after all these years and to see the love gush out of them. Bill and I started out on this trip thinking it was a once in a lifetime experience that we would never get to do again and we are both starting to wonder if we could ever do it with all 4 of them. How amazing for them all to meet these woman again that gave to much of themselves to care for these children just to prepare them to leave them for us. It takes an incredibly gifted and strong woman to do this and we managed to be blessed with 4 of them.

I'm going to leave the post here and continue the rest on another post.

Day 6- Preparing

I wrote this post in Korea the morning we were to get Tae but I couldn’t post it. I also wrote about our first meeting but needed a few days before I could post. I will post that soon.

I'm so incredibly nervous today. Not sure what has me the most anxious but I have so many feeling. I should be preparing for our meetings but I'm kind of stuck.

We headed down to the Hotel restaurant for breakfast and I couldn't really even eat. The boys seem pretty excited but Bill is nervous as well.

We have to be at Holt at 11:30am to meet with the foster mom's then were having lunch with Mrs. You our caseworker then back to the agency to meet baby Tae. I really hope everything goes smoothly today. I'm so worried Tae is going to break down hysterical when it's time to leave her family that's taken care of her for 7 months. I am so worried about her Foster Family, how will they be? I can't begin to imagine how they are feeling at this moment. Their hearts must be breaking, I know mine is for them. I feel a bit guilty for taking her away from them. Today is so much harder than I expected it to be. I do believe this baby is meant to be with us but why do I have such a heavy heart right now? How I wish this didn't have to be so hard.

Every day we have been here I keep looking around us wondering, are one of these women the mothers to my children, sisters, aunts, uncles, brother's, fathers grandparents?? Are any of these people foster families we never met Do any of these people recognise our children? Does Kai & Tae's birth Mother know we are here and are preparing to take this sweet baby girl away from her birth country to raise in the United States? I wonder are we being watched? Are they observing us wondering what kind of people we are and if they made the right choice sending theses amazing children to live with us.

I'm also worried that once the Foster Mother's meet us will they think we are doing a good job with the boys? Do they get the pictures and letters I have been sending every year since they have been with us.
Will they think I'm doing a good enough job? Am I doing a good enough job?

Day 5

Well Day 5 was another whirlwind day. We started the day at Paris Baguette again then off to Church. Our friend Sally recommended us to Seoul Presbyterian Church and an English service. We arrived on time (were usually late for everything) only to find out the English service was cancelled so we stayed for the Korean service and they provided us with headphones with English translations

When service was over we were off to Coex Mall. We were a bit confused and needed to call Sally. Here the mall is actually underground so after descending a few flights we found the shopping Mall. The first store we found was Hello Kitty so of course I had to go buy something for Karley. They had so many cute things but were a bit expensive. Then we were off on our mission for the book store Sally told us about and on the search for a baby doll for Princess Katherine. After several hours we had to opt for a barbie-ish Korean doll but we found the books we wanted.

We stopped back at the hotel to wash up and change clothes it was a really hot day. We set off once again in hopes to complete our shopping. We went back to Insadong in search of the stamp store which we didn't find. We did buy most of the gifts we needed but were missing a few including a drum for Matthew. At the very last store we found that drum YEAH! We had a few gifts we would have liked to get but we just ran out of time.

While shopping Min's brother-in-law called and said they wanted to meet up with us. They found us in Insadong and gave us another big bag of food. This time it was Min's sister, her Mom, brother-in-law & his daughter. They were so sweet and I just love her Mom. We visited for a bit then parted ways. They had wanted to take us out for dinner but we had to decline as we really had to finish the things on our list. When we parted Min's Mom & sister gave the boys a really big hug. I really wanted to take their picture but Min's sister didn't want her picture taken.

We returned to the Mall in Insadong in search of a gift for my Mom and there was a band playing, they were really good they were called The Big Issue. The girl singer had a great voice and we stayed to watch them for a few songs.

Finally we finished and returned to our hotel about 8:30pm. The boys goal was to make it to the pool every day so we had to go swimming. At 9:30pm I made everyone return to the room as I knew I had a late night ahead of me preparing gifts. I got everyone showered and all 3 boys fell asleep watching TV. I was up until about
12:30am and then felt so sick so I had to call it a night.

I woke several times during the night but wouldn't let myself get up until 6:30am. I'm not exactly sure how much I slept but all I now is that I'm nervous.

Day 5 was a big success, I think, and now we have to prepare for our meetings

Day 4

Yesterday was another good day. Although we didn’t go sightseeing the boys got to experience some traditional markets.

We started the day off at Paris Baguette, everyone was sick of the breakfast buffet at the hotel. After breakfast we took the shuttle to Myungdong Market. We wandered around a little and were able to find a jazz cd that was a requested gift. Thankfully the shop owner knew enough English to help us find a popular choice.

We soon discovered that this wasn’t the best place for us to find what we were looking for and decided to go to Itaewon which was a little more familiar to us. Thankfully we were able to find some things there. We don’t have the means to buy everyone gifts but we wanted to get a few things for the kids and we have a small list of requests we were asked to bring back. It was really hot and humid and the boys were getting tired so after walking for about 2 hours we headed back to the hotel to drop off the things we bought and get rid of the heavy backpack.

The boys were hungry and although they like Korean food they really wanted a burger. We decided to go to Outback which is a few blocks from us. Lesson learned, although it was an Outback they had a menu that was Korean inspired so no burgers. Julian had steak which he loves and Kai had chicken fingers. The portion was huge and we all ate too much. Since we were so full we decided we needed to walk so we headed to Time Square Mall to shop or so we though. When Bill asked the girl at the information desk at the hotel about souvenirs shopping she suggested we go to Time Square Mall since the forecast was for rain. She said it was indoors and we would do much better there. Time Square Mall is alot like King of Prussia Mall with all high end stores and it was packed with people carrying lots of bags. I was amazed how busy this place was, this was a much different experience. There wasn’t a children’s store or toy store so we left soon after arriving. It was so congested there and unless you are interested in high end shopping I wouldn’t recommend going there.

We then headed to Namdaemun Market which is a traditional Korean market. There are vendors all over the place and lots of interesting food. I was looking for some blankets for the kids and this is a great place to get them. However by the time we got there many shops were closed. If time permits we will head back before we leave. As soon as I arrived I remembered it from my visit to Korea with Judy when we went to get Kai, although yesterday was much busier. People were pretty rude & just shoved us around. If you have patience for this it’s a great place to shop. You can pretty much get anything you need there and the prices are much better than in Itaewon and the shop keepers are more willing to bargain with you. Many speak English as well as at Itaewon. We didn’t last real long cause the boys were exhausted so we headed back to the hotel.

Bill took the boys swimming while I cooked the bulgogi Min’s Mom brought us on Friday night. Although it was the best bulgogi I ever had we were all really full from our lunch 6 hours before so we didn’t eat much.

After dinner we played cards with the boys and then they entertained us. I’d love to share what they did but we have been sworn to secrecy (I do have them on video). :0)

We finished off our day by calling a very special your man to sign Happy 13th Birthday to and then the boys headed to bed exhausted.

Once again I was up way too early and it’s catching up to me, I’m now exhausted. Kai was up at 6, bill shortly after 7 and Julian close to 7:30 so I think they are all rested now.

We just finished our Skype call with Karley and we are going to head to church today then possibly the Coex Mall in search of a baby doll requested by Katherine. I’m planning on making it an early day cause I have lots of gifts to prepares for tomorrow and I want to try and get as much rest as possible as this many be my last chance for rest once the baby is with us until we get home.

I’m so anxious about tomorrow so please keep us all in your prayers

Reflecting

This morning I'm reflecting and I'll post about Day 4 later

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEkh_KxKao0 ~ Walk by Faith Jeremy Camp

I'm not sure if this link will work but this is the song I'm currently listening to and it seems to be our theme song. Our(Bill and I) lives together have always been about walking by faith. Everything we have ever done never made sense on paper but to us it did. As many others have looked into our lives they have thought we were crazy with decisions we made, some told us some didn't and some just sat back and watched.

God has done such amazing things in our lives. I have been doing alot of reflecting these past few days and I am completely amazed at the miracles God had granted in our lives. Bill and I have been through some absolutely impossible things but God has always brought us through these tough times. There have been many times when we wondered if our faith was enough or questioned our faith but in the end we choose to believe for all things are possible thru God and he has always provided for us just when we needed it and not in our timing but his.

God has also put some of the most amazing people into our lives. Sometimes I don't think we realize or appreciate the importance of those who surround us and the chain of event that unfolds for us. Years ago I read this email chain letter about how God puts people in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime and I find I reflect back to that often anymore. I often question why things happen the way they do but I do believe it's all for a purpose even when it's not a good outcome.

In 1991 I met Bill; we started dating in 92, got engaged in 93 & married in 94. As many couples do we talked of a family and hoped to have 2 children. I had thought 2 boys would be amazing but knew it was all in Gods hands. At the time I had no idea how true it was that the outcome of our lives really is in God's hands. We tried for years to conceive and have children and as we watched many in our lives give birth to their children we suffered is sadness of what we thought we were loosing. It was a very dark period for me but Bill's faith is what really pulled us through that time only to be brought to this journey we travel today.

I never would have imagined the life we lead today in my fairytale of a dream I dreamed but if we keep our hearts, our minds and our faith open anything is possible. When I look around me even today but especially my life I just cry at the impossibleness God has provided for us. To think we would have been blessed so richly.

One day, years ago someone asked me if we were rich and I answered by saying we are rich with love and that continues to be my answer. As I look at people around us I'm sure some wonder how we will manage with 4 children in a small home with a single income but those people don't truly know us. Life is full of hardship but not many can see past the hardship and financial aspect. We have been blessed to realize the material things are not whats important but the love we have in our hearts and our faith is enough. That’s not to say we don't wish and dream for more in our lives, we certainly do but at the end of the day we are so very thankful for all that God has blessed us with.

I had intended to single out those who have helped us so richly through this process to help bring baby Tae home cause there are so many of you who have but then I remembered its not Gods plan for us to look for praise, he know our deeds and works and that’s all that matters. For those of you who have helped us, which is all of you in our lives, you know who you are and we will be forever grateful for all you have done. Your prayers have been our biggest gift.

If knowing us has taught you anything I hope you have taken away that thru God all things are possible so have faith even when it scares you to death. And God tells us to ask for what it is we want. He may know your heart but you need to be specific when asking.

Our journey isn't close to being over.. I can't help but wonder what God has in store for us next.

Day 3- City Tour

Sorry in advance for the long post but there is so much to tell

Yesterday was Friday July 2nd and our City Tour. When I got up yesterday the sky looked dark and cloudy but I had hoped it would pass. As the morning grew on it kept getting darker and by 9am it was raining really hard. (It is monsoon season here)

Our tour guides met us in our hotel lobby and they were 2 college students. I feel terrible but I don't remember their names. One of them was studying art and the other Chinese. They were both so sweet and so excited to be showing us around.

We traveled by subway to Gyeongbokgung Palace:

Gyeongbokgung, also known as Gyeongbokgung Palace or Gyeongbok Palace, is a royal palace located in northern Seoul, South Korea. First constructed in 1394 and reconstructed in 1867, it was the main and largest palace of the Five Grand Palaces built by the Joseon Dynasty. The name of the palace, Gyeongbokgung, translates in English as "Palace Greatly Blessed by Heaven."
Heavily destroyed by the Japanese government in the early 20th century, the palace complex is slowly being restored to its original form prior the destruction. As of 2009, roughly 40 percent of the original number of palace buildings still stand or are being reconstructed.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gyeongbokgung- if your interested follow this link for more information. We loved the tour and learned alot of this area. Our tour guides did a great job taking us thru the Palace.

There are guards all throughout the Palace and you can get your picture taken with them. I felt really bad for them cause it was raining so hard and so many wet stinky people were pushing they way to get their pictures taken with the guards.

After we had seen all of the palace we went ot the National Folk Museum. I don't have many pictures because I couldn't use my flash on my camera and I couldn't figure how to make it stay off. It was so humid out that I think that effected my camera. For more information visit: http://www.knto.or.kr/enu/SI/SI_EN_3_1_1_1.jsp?cid=268152

When our Museum Tour was over we took a short cab ride to Insadong Market. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Insadong

Since one of our tour guides was an art student she really wanted us to see this market. She took us to a store where 2 famous artist work and there the boys had stamps made with their American names in English and under that is their Korean names in Hangul. It was about $30 each so we didn't have them made for the girls but I really wish we would have. If time allows we may go back and have stamps made for the girls.

When in Insadong we had lunch. The girls took us to a place they like to eat. They asked us a few question about our experience with Korean food then ordered for us. I couldn't believe all the food they brought out. I was going to post a picture but I can't get it to upload so I'll do it later. Anyway we had so much food. They brought out all the side dished plus Japchae http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japchae, Bulgogi http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bulgogi which was served with lettuce wraps & some red sauce, spicy radish, cold soup- it had a clear liquid base with bean sprouts and was spicy, we also had boiled bulgogi, soybean soup which I loved, kimchee, korean spinach http://www.maangchi.com/recipe/sigumchi-namul and korean beef soup. The boys especially like the Japchae so the waitress kept bringing back more dishes. We all ate way too much and there was still a ton of food left over. The six of us ate for less than $5.00 each, unbelieveable.

After lunch we wandered around Isadong for about 1 1/2 hours, picked up the boys stamps then came back to our hotel. We gave the girls their gifts and returned to our room. I had wanted to start shopping, I have many gifts to bring back but I couldn't find what I was looking for so we called it a day.

When we got up to our room housekeeping was here so we took off our wet shoes put on flip flops and wandered out in the pouring rain again to buy milk at the 7-11 across the street then we came back to the hotel and Bill & Julian played pool. By this time I was cold(yes I said cold even know it was incredibly hot & humid) and tired so we returned to our room and I took a shower & relaxed while Bill took the boys to the pool. When they got back we all layed down to watch TV about 5:30pm and I woke at 7 to find all 3 boys sleeping as well. We decided to skip dinner and try and rest since we were so exhausted.

At 10:30pm Bill and I heard this strange sound and we couldn't figure out what it was. Still half asleep we heard a male voice so Bill jumped up to see who it was. It was someone from the front desk with a big bag of food. We looked in the bag and decided they delivered it to the wrong room. Bill called the front desk and they said they would look into it. After about an hour Bill called the front desk again and they said a friend delivered it for us, they said there was a memo on the bag but we took the entire bag apart and there wasn't one. When we opened it there were several bags of treats for the boys, cherries, homemade dumplings, several containers of rice and 2 really bags of bulgogi. Min's sister did tell us she wanted to cook for us and was going to drop off food on Sunday night so I guess it's from her even know it was friday night. I tried to email Min to find out but I haven't heard back yet. I guess our guardian angels have followed us to Korea too.

Bill and I are completely humbled by all the love and support we have been blessed with. We can't even begin to express our thanks to everyone.

Today we had planned on going to shopping and visiting possible Itaewon gotoPage=2&cid=527717" href="http://english.visitkorea.or.kr/enu/SH/SH_EN_7_4.jsp?, Namdaemun Market http://www.time.com/time/travel/cityguide/article/0,31489,1848378_1848364_1848106,00.html, we were also told to check out Time Square http://english.tour2korea.com/ena/SI/SI_EN_3_1_1_1.jsp?cid=834091 so after some research we will figure out where we are going. It is supposed to rain really hard again today so I'm not sure where we will end up.

Other thing on our list include: DMZhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Korean_Demilitarized_Zone , Blue House http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_House,

Seoul Tower http://www.lifeinkorea.com/Travel2/124,

Coex Mallhttp://www.lifeinkorea.com/Travel2/215 Sally said this is a must they have a great underground book store & music store.

There are actually so many more things I'd love to do but we are running out of time and I don't know how much we can squeeze in the next 2 days. All our sightseeing has to be squeezed into today & tomorrow because Monday we have the Foster Mother visit and we pick up baby Tae and then we come home Tuesday.

Day 2 in Korea

Day 2 was exhausting but great.

We got an email from our agency at home that if we wanted to visit the Reception Center we had to go Thursday or Friday. Well our city tour is today so we changed our plans and once again didn't make it to Seoul Tower yesterday.

We arrived at Holt at 9:35am and met Mrs. You, our caseworker here in Korea. She is amazing and was so sweet with the boys. The boys were both very nervous around her but they didn't say why. Mrs. You walked us to the Reception Center which was about less than a 10 minute walk. She took us up to the nursery then left. We presented the volunteers with several boxes if rice cereal & a bag of goodies for them.

It takes an amazing woman to give so much of herself and let me tell you these woman give so much to these babies. For any family who had or has a baby at Holt Reception Center please know how much they are being loved and cared for. There was even 1 baby in a incubator and they were talking to him. He was so tiny and his eyes were taped shut I just wanted to hold him but he looked so fragile.

We stayed for a little while and got to rock the babies and play with them. We even got to hold them. One little girl was crying and I was able to hold & rock her, it was amazing. I so would love to work there. We all enjoyed our visit to the nursery especially Julian, he didn't want to leave he kept saying " just a few more minutes" but we really had to go.

We took the subway/metro back and it's pretty easy to navigate, thanks to Bill. When we got off we couldnt' figure out which way was our hotel so since we were pressed for time we got a taxi only to find out we were about 10 blocks away. Thank goodness it only cost about $2.40 for the taxi ride.

It's very hot & humid so we had to freshen up and we waited until 12:15pm for our friend Min's sister to arrive. When she didn't come we headed to Lotte World. We had a really great time there but didn't get to ride any of the bigger rides, the lines were way too long. Julian, Kai & Bill did ride everything that was smaller that they could and all had a blast. Shortly after arriving at Lotte World we received a call from Min that her sister would meet us at 5pm and take us to dinner. We were a little nervous since she didn't speak english but Bill and I were looking forward to meeting her. The boys were very nervous.

Yun-Kyung arived on time and was able to speak a little English. She is beautiful and so sweet just like her sister Min. She took us by taxi to a Korean bbq and we had beef & pork that she cooked right there for us on the table. She didn't eat anything saying she was on a diet but she is so super skinny. We enjoyed some light conversation and by the time we parted Kai was fast asleep on my lap. Yun-Kyung insisted on cooking dinner for us so she is coming to our hotel on Sunday after she is done work and will bring us dinner. We kept telling her it wasn't necessary but she wouldn't take no for an answer.

We took a cab home because Kai was sleeping and Julian wasn't far off. It most definately was the worst cab ride of my life, even worse than in New York. He drove so fast and almost got in so many accidents not exagrating. I get motion sick so it wasn't a good experience for me at all. Thankfully he drove very fast and got us home in about 25 minutes instead of the 40 it should have taken.

We were all exhausted and needed showeres. The boys were so exhausted but cried that they couldn't go to the pool. I don't think any of us even would have made it down there. By 8:15 the boys were fast asleep and about an hour later so were Bill and I.

Once again I was awake this morning at 3:19am. Not sure if it's the jetlag or the 13 hours time difference. This morning I stayed in bed until 4:15 trying to get back to sleep but too much was racing thru my mind so I finally got up. I'm trying my luck at a load of laundry, it's a little difficult when there are no directions and this thing is a washer/dryer in one so hopefully I do ok.

Today is Friday and we have our city tour. I'm really looking forward to the boys finally get some cultureal experience. I jsut wish I knew if our tour guide would be male or female so I knew what kind of gift to prepare for them. Maybe I'll prepare one of each, only problem there isn't enough room in my backpack for both.

Well Kai is up so I'm gonna go spend some time with him. Sorry for the typo's but my spell check isnt working for some reason and I'm sure I have overlooked some. I probably won't get to upload pictures until after were back home.

Korea here we come & Day 1

The week leading up to our departure is a bit of a blur. Even know we have know we would travel all along and we knew it was getting really close I didn't dare prepare too much in fear things would go wrong and maybe we wouldn't end up here at all. I went thru the week almost on auto pilot. I didn't talk to many people I have just been a ball of nerves.

Every day last week was running around to try and find the perfect gifts for so many people. In the end I'm still not sure about all the gifts but it is what it is. I have 2 1/2 pieces of luggage filled with gifts. I'm hoping they are all intacted because I didn't even get to open those suitcases yet.

This Monday (6/28) was an extramely overwhelming day. I had a few more things to do it seemed like for everything we crossed off our list a few more were added. I was so worried about leaving Karley and how the boys would do on the flight and about becoming a Mom to 4 children. To most people I think they couldn't figure me out, maybe even thought I wasn't excited but I was just really overwhelmed with so many thought and I just couldn't think clearly. I usually get overwhelmed by big things but in the 11th hour I pull it all together clearly and it's all good. This time that never happened and as the hours pass I find ever more things I forgot to pack or do.

Monday Joe & Sally came around 7pm and brought us to JFK. They couldn't believe all the luggage we had, 7 check on bags and we all had backpacks to carry on. What can I say but I have alot of gifts. There are so many people we need to give gifts to. I'm bummed I wasn't thinking clearly or I would have taken pictures of our luggage. We stopped to eat on the way since none of us had lunch or dinner. We arrived at the airport and thankfully crusied past the line at check in and was helped by one of Joe's friends who worked for the airline. She checked in our luggage and although I was sure 1 or 2 of our bags were over the weight limit she sent them thru without a word. They should have only been a few pounds, less than 5 so maybe that's why.

We went to the Cafe with Sally, Joe & Mike and hung out. I felt bad but I was so nervous that I could barely talk to anyone. I felt really bad for leaving Karley at home and had no idea what to expect from the boys on such a long flight.

Fianlly close to 11 we went thru security and to our gate. The boys were great, we did let them play their DS's so that did keep them occupied. Thankfully Joe had gotten us 4 seats together in a bulkhead seating so we even had a little extra leg room.

The flight was uneventful, takeoff was good and other than the boys being a little scared cause they didn't know what to expect they loved it. Each seat has it's own video screen so the boys watched whatever movie they wanted and played games the entire 14 hours when they weren't sleeping. We got a dinner meal about an hour after takeoff and the food was really good. Actually they give you so much food there is no way you could eat it all. We slept on & off for a while, both boys slept about 5 hours straight which was good. About 3 hours before we landed they served us breakfast which I declined, I was still so full from the last meal an I didn't even eat it all.

As we flew over China and had 2hours and 19 minutes until our arrival in Korea it hit me and I started crying. I just can't believe we are here and when we return home we will have another daughter. From the first minute our phone rang with the news of a sibling we knew this little girl was meant to be with us but it seemed so impossible financially. Like with every other big decision in our lives we put it all in Gods hands and he provided everything we needed. Not as fast as I would have liked but there was not a single thing in the end he didn't take care of all by the time it needed to be done. Bill said to me on Sunday, "the bible says God takes ordinary people and does extrodinary things" with us he certainly has.

We arrived in the airport, claimed our luggage, cleared customs, exchanged a little money and was greated by our van driver which was great to come thru those door and see the sign with our name. Our driver took us to our hotel which was about another hours ride and unloaded all out luggage into the hotel. I will post picture of hour hotel later it's amazing. It's an apartment with 2 bedrooms, a kitchen & living room & a office area. There is a window that runs from the boys room straight thru to the lliving room then into our bedroom. It's really amazing.

We had planned to go see Seoul Tower but by the time we checked in, called Karley on Skype, showered & had breakfast, toured the gym, pool and children's room we were exhausted and opted for a short nap. Bill and I work but the kids wer exhausted and we never got Julian up until 3:30. We needed to exchange some money but the front desk was closed for the day so they sent us out looking for a money exchange. We followed their map and needed to ask directions a few times to make sure we were going the right way, even know we didn't speak the same language everyone seemd to be able to help. Finally we found a really nice girl who spoke english well and she took us to the exchange which was closed. We thanked her and parted ways. We opted to walk thru Lotte Depatement store, it was alot like something in New York. There was every designer sotre, gucci, prada, kate spade, coach & on & on. It was packed so we went down to the food court to get something to drink then we headed back to the hotel. We had planned on taking a cab but Bill has a great sense of direction and we made our way back easily. It was about a 35 to 40 minute walk and we really enjoyed. The boys brought their camera's so I can't wait to see their pictures.

We had dinner at the hotel since we weren't able to exchange money. Bill thought we should get sushi (I only eat Calfornia Rolls) and an entree well I could have just had the rolls for dinner, it was way too mch food so that was a lesson learned. At dinner we asked the boy what they thought so far and Julian said it was just like being at home so far. After dinner we went for a walk then we wnt swimming which the boys couldn't wait to do.

Although we didn't see anything we planned we had a really good 1st day. We ended up going to bed too late and now I'm up and can't sleep so I'm sure I'll be exhausted later today. I have been up since 3:19am.

Today we plan on going to Seoul Tower then to Lotte World. We need to squeeze in a visit to Holr Reception Center somewhere today or tomorrow. Hopefully the next time I blog I'll have pictures and some great stories. Sorry for the long read and for the typo's I'm tired and my spell check isn't working.

Counting Down

My stomach is in knots and I think I might be sick.....

We leave for the airport in 18 hours and I need to pack for everyone still do wash and finish cleaning. There never seems to be enough time.

Finally all the gifts are bought and I have a few extra in case we forgot anyone. I have that suitcase packed and it weights over 50lbs. I still need to check the airlines weight limit though.

We fly out at 12:50am and have a direct flight to Korea. We arrive at 3:50am on Wednesday their time. We have someone form our agency picking us up form the airport so that's wonderful we don't have to worry about that.

On Wednesday we will just do a little wondering around. On Thursday we are planning on going to Lotte World, Friday is our guided tour, still working on plans for Saturday & Sunday but they will be full of sightseeing. Monday we will spend some time at the Reception Center helping with the nursery, we think. Then the boys meet their foster families, out to lunch then back to meet Tae at 1:30pm and take her with us forever.

I'm shaking as I type I just can't believe it's finally time to go get our bundle of joy. I'm feeling so sad for our Foster Mom. Tae has been with her for almost 7 months now and 1 week after we leave she will turn 1 year. I can't imagine what this woman is feeling right now knowing that in a few short days she will have to send Tae home with us.

Well I really need to get back to packing I just needed a quick break. With any luck I'll update often form Korea.

TRAVEL CALL

At 9:37am yesterday we received our travel call. :)

The day started beautifully with the sun out shining, the kids first day of summer vacation and we were waiting for our great nephew to be born. Welcome Gavin Lee to our family and congratulations to Tim, Jen big sister Faith & big brother Rocky.

I felt really anxious so I sent an email to our caseworker & program coordinator at 9:35am saying: my heart can't stand the wait today is there any travel news? And 2 minutes later my phone rang. I still wasn't sure it was the call I was hoping for but it was...

The rest of the day is a bit of a blur but we are tentatively booked on a flight next Tuesday at 1am which will have us arriving in Korea at 4am. We made arrangements with our agency to be picked up from the airport an taken to our hotel. Arranging travel was very difficult because it's a very busy time to visit Korea. Our return flight home will be on Tuesday July 7th and we will arrive at JFK.

The rest of the details are still being worked out. The agency in Korea is booking our hotel and we should know in a day or 2 when we will meet our boys foster mom's, when we will go sight seeing and when we will receive custody of baby Tae.

We have so much to do to get ready to leave. I downloaded Skype to my laptop and crashed it so hopefully it will be back & running so I can video chat with Karley every day we are gone.

I plan to post updates as often as time allows but with 2 young boys I'm not sure they will give me much down time and we have alot of things to squeeze into our week visit to their homeland.

I really can't believe it's time to go. It seems like a dream. Am I really going to be a mom of 4? That is a pretty scary thought but exciting at the same time.

I'll update once we have more information. And if any of you visitors to our blog have some travel advice that you would like to share with us we welcome it happily.~ thank you

Procrastination

Procrastination- I'm not sure that I like this word it sounds so harsh but I guess I have to admit that I am a big procrastinator. On the few occasions I have had everything done on time or early I have always ended up being disappointed so I wait until the last minute. It's not like I don't have enough to keep myself busy I certainly do but sometimes it's things that don't need to be done when I'm doing them.

I'm days away from getting travel permission. We got confirmation today that our class b waiver was received by Holt in Korea so now it's just a matter of the embassy issuing the exit visa. I know it will be here in no time at all but yet I can't seem to get enough done. At one point I kept telling myself if I just checked enough things off my list we would get that call. But now I'm in panic mode wondering what can & will go wrong.

I have kept myself very busy with school & sports but the parties are behind us, Kai finished kindergarten today & Julian finishes tomorrow. We do have a fun packed weekend but Julian is done soccer for the next month and he will be done baseball on Saturday or Tuesday depending on if his team wins the championship game on Saturday. The non-stop life of the kids is beginning to slow down, I can no longer use this as an excuse not to be ready. SO why is my MUST DO list before we leave for Korean not getting any shorter? PROCRASTINATION is the reason, there still is time for something to go terribly wrong so if I don't prepare maybe just maybe nothing will go wrong.

I'm praying that I get myself on track & kick butt over the next week to knock all my "must do's" off my list by next Friday so I can have some peace of mind.

Happy 11 mos Tae- & 3 weeks closer

Happy 11 months Tae-hui. I had really hoped you would have been with us by now but I guess God has other plans.

It was quite a busy week and this one will be even busier. It's the boys last week of school and Julian is preparing for his championship baseball game. His team stepped up for the playoffs and is doing so great. Julian had to miss 2 of the games but is excited that they won on Saturday & made it to the next round.

I was really hoping Friday was going to be our travel call day but instead we received an email late in the day that we had to sign a class B2 waiver and the original notarized copy had to be sent to Korea before visa would be issued. Bill was able to rush home from work (which is an hour away) and meet me at the notary then I rushed it to the agency so they could send a scanned copy over to Holt in Korea & the original is to leave via DHL today. Can't believe we pulled it all off in about 2 hours.

At this point we expect this means we won't hear anything about travel until next week. If this is the case then we will have to wait until July to travel. It's really not what I was hoping for but at least we know with every passing day we are that much closer to having Tae with us forever.

On Friday we also learned that another family at the same point as us in the process learned that the baby they were matched with developed serious medical concerns and they were unable to adopt her. My heart is breaking for them, I can't even begin to imagine. This sure does put things into prospective for me and makes me realize that although our daughter is still not with us she will be very soon. We need to be thankful for each day we have and for all that God has already given us. Without him in our lives we would have nothing.

I'm so thankful to have such great family and friends who have supported us along the way. There have been a few key people who have blessed us tremendously and for this I am so eternally grateful. God really has put some key people in our lives, we truly have his favor.

2 weeks closer

2 weeks have passed since EP approval and tomorrow our little girl goes for her exit physical. With each passing hour we are that much closer to bringing baby Tae home to join her forever family.

I have been through all of Karely's old baby clothes not to mention the clothes given to me by friends and we bought a few as well so I'm hoping to be covered for the summer. At this point I'm still not sure on what size she is so I'll just have to wait & see.

I'm getting really anxious and excited. Today I considered packing Tae's travel bag but I didn't dare. I do need a few items for her. I need to get her a baby blanket and I need to pull out some baby toys to pack for her. Since she will be with us for a few days before we leave I'll have to pack for her as well which is something I wasn't expecting.

We found out last Friday that placement procedures have changed this week and now instead of meeting our little princess within 2 days of being in country we have to wait until 48 hours before we depart. With the boys we had a meeting with the Foster Mom & baby for about an hour within 2 days of our arrival. Then we went back 2 days later for the pre-flight physical (just to make sure baby is healthy enough to travel) then back 2 days later for placement & then off to the airport with Julian with Kai I had him overnight since our flight left on a Saturday. Now we will have 4 days to sight see then 48 hours before we leave we have a short visit with the foster mom, the pre-flight physical & off to our hotel for 2 days to get to know each other before we board the plane home for the 14 hour flight. I guess I have waited this long so a few more days won't kill me but knowing I'm that close to her and have to wait to meet her is going to drive me crazy.

Were getting closer to choosing a name we now have 3 contenders: Julian's choice is Jadyn, Kai's is Jacy & Bill's is Jana. Once we meet her we will make the final decision.

I know I'm completely crazy but I'm half expecting the phone to ring on Friday with travel approval. It's way to soon to expect it especially when the physical is tomorrow but it's just a hopeful feeling.

1 week closer

Well we have had EP approval for 1 week now so 1 week is behind us. How many more weeks is the common question everyone asks but at this time we really don't know. Our agency said 4 to 6 weeks from EP approval until we travel but today another family just 10 days ahead of us with EP approval got their travel call today so I'm freaking out a bit. Translation is travel call 2 1/2 weeks after EP approval.

What this means for us I really don't know. All I do know at this point is that we are 1 week closer to meeting our little girl and bringing her home where she belongs.

I'm a true believer in prayer so I'm asking those of you who believe if you will keep us in your prayers as we approach our journey to bring baby Tae home. It has been a hard process for me and I have many different feelings but I'm putting my faith in God that it will all work out according to his plan for us.

For those of you who have been following us don't stop now the good part is about to begin. I'm very hopeful to be blogging, emailing & posting on facebook about our journey as we are traveling & in Korea and when we get back.

Now I have some shopping to get done and we better get some names decided on this little girl needs to be named.

Week 7

Boy has this been a great week. It stared out with a meltdown on Monday then went uphill from there.
Tuesday we received EP approval & Kai passed his Orange belt test in Karate. Then Tuesday late in the day we received a well baby check up. Our little bundle of joy is now 18lbs 5oz.
Wednesday was a blur but a good day
Thursday we received an updated picture and boy is she cute. And then we get ready for a trip to the beach to visit Aunt Kathy & Uncle Dan

From now on I will be counting backwards to travel. Our Agency said 4 to 6 weeks but since we are traveling it should be about 4 weeks, YEAH

Yesterday I went shopping but didn't find much. I better get on it or this little girl will have no clothes. I already returned all the 9months things I thought she would be wearing.

More pictures to come soon..

Don't forget to check out our fundraising sight http://www.adoptionbug.com/stewart6/index.htm a percentage of all sales form our sight will be donated to us for travel expenses. We recently made some changes and are expecting another with new designs to choose from.

IT won't be long now before our home becomes VERY noisy of giggles and love

EP APPROVAL

This is the day, This is the day that the Lord has made, that the Lord has made I will rejoice I will rejoice and be glad it in...... is what the boys and I sang today on our way to school and Kai prayed that today would be EP approval day & baby Tae would be with us soon.

I half expected it today but I'm thrilled, so very thrilled to have only one more step between us and meeting our baby and bringing her home. Bill got the email first then our caseworker called to let me know. If only my meltdown held out one more day as yesterday I was crying to my caseworker about the long wait and the uncertainty of when this baby will be with us. I just needed her home before her 1st birthday and God willing if all moves smoothly now she will just about make it.

Her physical is scheduled for June 9th so we should get permission to travel by the last week of June and Hopefully be there the 1st week of July, maybe we'll even get there for Bill's birthday like he originally hoped for when we first got her referral.

Praise God, I'm just too excited to go to work but off I go.. I'll update more later when we get more information. HORRAY, YIPEE, WOOOO HOOOO, YES YEAH!!!!

6 weeks and out of patience

Whining today so you may want to pass this post.

The past few days have been tough. This weekend was Kai's party and too many people asked too many questions about why the baby still wasn't home and what the delay was. At this point I have no answers and I won't be receiving any more information.

I think I'm turning into a whiner :( I'm really tired once again waiting. Patience is a virtue but I have run out of patience. I'm just praying we hear something soon because once EP is approved we still have at least another 4 week before we get permission to travel. Friday will be 9 months since we learned about this precious little girl, I just want her here where she belongs with her forever family.

Ok whining over & I'm moving on to praying and trying to get myself back into the swing of things, there certainly is PLENTY to keep me busy

WORDS OF WISDOM ALWAYS WELCOME

Happy 10 months from across the world

Today baby Tae is 10 months old and I'm wishing her a wonderful day full of love. I wish somehow she could feel the love we have for her. I'm wondering what she is now doing and how she looks. With each passing day we get closer to holding this precious gift from God in our hands and it just thrills me so much.

If this time last year you would have asked me if we would have more children I would have said no, God has given us so many blessings already. I didn't think it possible that we would be a family of 6 but shortly we will be. And much to Bill's stress I know in my hear we are not done. It stresses me to think about it but I feel like God is telling me there is more to come. I have no idea what that means but it's clear we are not done yet. But for now I'm just concentrating on this chapter of our lives entitled baby Tae, or maybe our Walk by Faith....

Kai turned 7 this week. I can't believe my baby boy is 7. He is growing so fast, getting so big, so smart and really coming into himself. Time moves way too fast for me but I can't slow it down so I'm trying to soak it all in. In our family we celebrate a birthday for a week so Monday was the official birthday, Tuesday Aunt Judy took Kai out to lunch, shopping at Toys R Us and spoiled him, Wednesday we spent the day cooking together as per his request. He was by my side the entire day after i got him form school. We made sauce, sausage, meatballs, pasta, and even baked a cake & iced it. I'm not sure if making the pasta or icing the cake was his favorite. But it's been a busy fun week and onto more celebrating the next few days.

Week 5 update- Yesterday I found out the group in front of us received their EP's so we are in the next group. I'm hopeful that in the next 2 weeks EP approval will come then it's physical & passport that we need to wait for. It looks like about 6 more weeks. I'm getting very anxious as it seem more real each day but yet it still doesn't really seem like it's real.

Still so much to do but then again there is always so much to do isn't there.

lost

I seem to have lost myself in the mountains of paperwork, daily chores and life. Every once in awhile I slow down enough to truly look around me and realize the bliss. I'm so thankful to God for the amazing blessings he has bestowed on me. I pray one day I am able to get life back in order & prospective on a daily basis.

Week 4

Another week has passed and today 5/7/10 brings us to 1 month since our EP was applied for. The program seems to be moving along. So far 2 babies came home from our agency on Monday and 1 family received a speedy referral of a baby girl.

We got some really good suggestions on gifts to buy the foster family and agency workers so now I just need to start shopping.

I talked to the travel agency today and got some not so good news. Airfare is going to run us almost double of what we originally budgeted for times 4 YIKES!!!!! We had thought we would travel April or May but then there were the delays and as of Wednesday this week they said it would be at least another 2 months so that puts us at mid July. The travel agency said we should expect to spend about $2,000 per adult and $1500 per child. Well God brought us this far and he's never let us down before so I believe he will lead us in the right direction.

Last week is behind me with 2 baby showers down and 1 bridal shower. Now I have Mothers Day to look forward to and Kai's birthday then his party next weekend and then Sally's wedding and shopping for suits and dresses for that to keep me busy until mid June so life will be busy & fun.

I'm looking forward to a great weekend and a busy week. Hope I have some new news to share soon.

Yipee! April's well check came

It's been a busy week and as I was leaving to run Julian to soccer I tried email one last time and there it was the April well check up I've been hoping for. YEAH!!!

The last two months there were some concerns with her development but all is looking better this month, at least I think so. We did fax the report to our pediatrician, who is awesome by the way, to review and we won't hear from her until Monday but I'm not worried. We said right from the beginning that we are meant to be a family so whatever God has in store for us he will help us through.

Baby Tae is moving right along. She gained some more weight and is up to 18lbs at 9 1/2 months. These reports are my highlights, it make me feel more connected in some way. The wait is hard so these monthly updates keep me going until the next one. I was hoping to be going to get her before the next one comes out but I'll just have to wait & see about that. It's all good, God has his perfect plan and when the time is right we will all be together. Until then I need to be patient which I'm getting a little better at. Just feeling happy that things are moving along.