Just thinking.. reflecting and being thankful

I have to admit I'm feeling a bit of a loss. A family we know left this week for Korea to pick up their daughter. It made me think a little harder about the process. While we were going thru it I said I could never do it again, the waiting was just so hard and the process draining. I'm not saying we are adopting again I'm just saying I feel a bit of a loss but only for moments then I hear someone screaming, fighting or just calling me and thank God for the amazing children he blessed us with.


I do however check my email hoping for some sort of news from our agency and there isn't any. I miss those updates, pictures, well baby checkups, always looking for news that never comes now that our princess is home. I also miss the anticipation of traveling to Korea. Our trip happened way too fast for me. Every time I hear a family is leaving for Korea I get a bit jealous. I loved it there, I didn't get enough time to really soak in the culture and there was so much sightseeing we just didn't get to do. I guess that's better then not wanting to go back but I can't wait, we plan on returning as a family in a few years, I so wish it was sooner though.


So many times I found myself looking everywhere on the subway, streets, in cabs, the mall, the markets... everywhere we went I questioned "do you know our children? Are you their birthmother, sibling, family of any sort? " I feel a desire to know more. But maybe just maybe I know all I need to.


This week I read an article about adult Korean adoptees and how many of them question where they fit in socially. Are they Korean, Are they American What exactly are they? I didn't know this but evidently some Korean adoptees are not accepted by other Korean children because they were raised by a family of a different race. Could this really be so in today's world?


Sometime I let myself get so stressed over these things but then I realize I'm doing everything I think I can to make sure my children grow up healthy, happy and with a knowledge of who they are and where they came from. We are very open with them and celebrate their birth families for entrusting us to raise them as our own. We are not perfect by far but we certainly love them and celebrate them for who they are, our precious children of God.