Monday, March 29, 2010

Monday updates

I love starting off my week with an update... even when it's not the news we were hoping for it's still news.

The following is the message we received:
RE : K2009-xxxx --- Tae-hui/Stewart/EP
The government worker said that one document from the birth mother counseling team was missing. So that's why he couldn't submit it to the Ministry but he said that he received it today and this child's documents will be in the next group of EP. He promised that he will include this case in Apr.

What this means is that the EP submission was not accepted but they now have the missing information and they will submit our EP some time in April, we just don't know when.

EP's still will not be approved in April but at least we know things are moving along and that's something. We still are expecting travel in August but after reading the complete update from our agency I feel like I have some kind of timeline to work with and we don't have to spend the entire summer in limbo. I feel like it's safe to schedule life April through June and I'll just hold off on all July & August activities until we get closer.

I did hear that some families received travel permission on Friday and that's good news too.

Now I'm just hoping this week brings news with a monthly physical report. At least I have alot to keep me busy for the next 2 weeks so hopefully that will keep me distracted.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Does no news mean good news??

Before you read any further today's post isn't an update it's a venting process for me so you may want to skip this one.

It's been 5 weeks since Visa approval (2/19) and 5 weeks since we received a well check up (2/22). Tae is now 8 1/2 months old, Karley came home at 8 mos 3 weeks. This by far is the hardest adoption/wait.

It's been quite a challenging time for me lately. I question myself several times a day what is God trying to teach me? I'm even questioning my faith right now. I'm not sure if I can call myself a Christian. The wait is bad enough but all the other things going on right now, it's just too much.. I wonder is this Gods way of not letting me obsess over the wait but I obsess over it all anyway. If these last couple of months don't make me stronger I don't know what will. I do thank God for the amazing husband he has given me, without him I'd be no where.

The uncertainty of it all is what's the most difficult. Not knowing if travel will be July, August , September or even longer. I don't understand why someone can't find out what exactly is the process. If there are 200 families waiting for EP approval how many is a realistic amount to be approved in 1 month. If ours wasn't even applied for yet where is that going to put us. Seriously I can't understand why these questions can't be asked or answered for that matter. I think it's a fair question.

With each passing month our travel costs go up considerably which may make it impossible for us to even travel. What do I tell the boys? "I know I cancelled your Disney trip to go to Korea but guess what we aren't going to Korea either?" Does a 6 yr and 8 yr old really understand that. I have had people who told me they would, but I can tell you I remember being disappointed as a child and how that stayed with me.

My entire life is on hold. We can't schedule any summer plans because we don't know what to expect. We have 6 days left in March then April to struggle through with no word of any kind. I'm really frustrated right now and grieving for what I'm missing/loosing.

If one more person tells me it will all happen when Gods timing is perfect or it's just not the right time or God only gives us what we can handle. Or the ones asking me why we aren't getting special treatment since this is our 4th adoption, a sibling and they contacted us. If one more person asks when we are traveling and why I don't have more information... I so appreciate all the support but I can't tell the story one more time. I'm tired of defending a process I don't even understand.

Why are there so many area's of our life under attack right now? Why do all the little things bother me so much? Why can't I do it all like so many other I know or do they really have me fooled into thinking they can handle it all? Do I have the strength to endure all God has in store for me?

If you have words of inspiration please enlighten me because I'm really struggling right now. It's so hard to keep face for the kids and they can tell I'm not what I should be. Please pray for my strength to pull it together and be all that I need to be. Please pray for my faith, Please pray.....

Sunday, March 21, 2010

No new news

Well it was another busy week but sadly no new news. We have our fingers crossed that EP will be applied for this week. Today Tae is 8 mos 1 week old, I'm ready for us to be with us.

We did have a beautiful week of weather and the kids loved being outside. I did have a week with Vertigo but it's slowly getting better. I'm tired of the ear pressure and pain I wish there was a way to just get rid of it once & for all.

Julian visited the University of Pennsylvania for his field trip & exhibit on Mummy's. He also had a Egyptian Day at school on Friday and started the day with a feast in the cafeteria.

Kai had the day off and Julian had early dismissal so we headed to the park for a day of fun and sun playing with 5 other families. All 3 kids came home exhausted.

Saturday was a very busy day starting with baseball for Julian at 8am then a day full of things to do. We had dinner with friends at Los Sarapes in Horsham then home to put Karleys bed together. She jumped right in and spent the entire night there.

Today Julian started our day with a soccer game at 9am and then some errands including more shopping for Tae, it was too beautiful so we opted for an evening service at church and enjoyed the day. Karley napped in her big girl bed today, so much for the transition I think she is done with the crib :( . Last night she told me she didn't like the sheets on her bed and she needed Hello Kitty sheets, she's only 2.

We have such wonderful friends and family. Our friends Amy & Mauricio are having a fund raiser for us for 3 Sunday's at their restaurant Los Sarapes in Horsham. God truly has blessed us with some amazing friends and family.

I'm hoping to send another package to Korea next week so with any luck hopefully we will have another picture in a month.

Hoping this week brings us some kind of good news.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

New picture

This rainy day has actually brought peace to me. I'm over my self pity
mood and looking forward to what is to come.

A few of you have asked to see the newest picture.
Here she is looking so much like her big brother.

Please feel free to post comments here. A few asked if it's ok ,
yes it is.

We want to thank everyone for their support & prayers. We love
and appreciate all of you.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Glad the week is ending

It seem like each day was worse than the day before. It looks like travel will be even longer than we though. It seems like things have been changing every day. I'm tired of trying to figure it out anymore.

Both boys cried this week about travel taking so long they are ready for their sister to be home. I didn't realize how much this could upset them. And we had to cancel many summer plans because of the unknown. It's been a not so good week. I'm ready to start a new one.

Here's looking forward to starting a new week and a hope for better things to come.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Travel delays again

We found out today that our EP hasn't even been applied for yet so there is no hope of travel before July. At this point it's very possible that we won't get to celebrate Tae's 1st birthday with her. The boys have been pretty good about all this but they are anxious to go meet their sister.

We did get another picture today as a thank you for the second package we sent. I'm guessing if I want to keep getting pictures I have to keep sending packages so I think I'll go buy some spring clothes today.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Feeling Blue

I haven't been on email in a few days and a friend sent me a message asking how I was holding up after the news from our agency. I had no idea what she was talking about.

There has been a big backlog in the Korean government issuing EP's (emigration permits). It seems our agency in Korea has 150 families waiting for EP's and only 25 of them will be issued in March and it's VERY unlikely we will be one of those families. None will be issued in April so that means we have to wait until as least May if not longer for ours to be issued.

Once EP is issued it takes another month to get permission to travel so at best we are looking at June to travel and maybe longer.

We have no control over how things happen in life, I know that better than most, so I have no choice but to put this in Gods hands and pray and believe that when the timing is right the phone will ring and we will get on the plane and go get our daughter. In the meantime I'm hoping you will pray for us and for baby Tae.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

EP Delays

The reality of EP delays are sinking in and darkening my sunny mood. There are families who have been waiting since January for EP approval and don't have it yet. I refuse to give up hope that we will travel in April. I may be setting myself up for disappointment but where would we be without hope.

Today the contractor is here finishing the girls room, it only took someone 2 years to decide he couldn't finish it himself but at least he admitted it and got someone here to finish the job. I can't wait until it's done.

Tax return is done & on it's way to the post office so hopefully our return will be here before we travel.

We still haven't picked a hotel. We are between 2 different ones and can't decide. We have a good list on where to visit but just not sure if we can fit it all in. Looks like the 1/2 day tour we have isn't going to cover as much as I hopped. Sure hope Sally can come with us and maybe bring us some places one day. The boys are very excited that Sally & Joe may be traveling with us but I guess only if we travel in April. I certainly hope we travel before their wedding though, we can't miss that.