Day 6- Preparing

I wrote this post in Korea the morning we were to get Tae but I couldn’t post it. I also wrote about our first meeting but needed a few days before I could post. I will post that soon.

I'm so incredibly nervous today. Not sure what has me the most anxious but I have so many feeling. I should be preparing for our meetings but I'm kind of stuck.

We headed down to the Hotel restaurant for breakfast and I couldn't really even eat. The boys seem pretty excited but Bill is nervous as well.

We have to be at Holt at 11:30am to meet with the foster mom's then were having lunch with Mrs. You our caseworker then back to the agency to meet baby Tae. I really hope everything goes smoothly today. I'm so worried Tae is going to break down hysterical when it's time to leave her family that's taken care of her for 7 months. I am so worried about her Foster Family, how will they be? I can't begin to imagine how they are feeling at this moment. Their hearts must be breaking, I know mine is for them. I feel a bit guilty for taking her away from them. Today is so much harder than I expected it to be. I do believe this baby is meant to be with us but why do I have such a heavy heart right now? How I wish this didn't have to be so hard.

Every day we have been here I keep looking around us wondering, are one of these women the mothers to my children, sisters, aunts, uncles, brother's, fathers grandparents?? Are any of these people foster families we never met Do any of these people recognise our children? Does Kai & Tae's birth Mother know we are here and are preparing to take this sweet baby girl away from her birth country to raise in the United States? I wonder are we being watched? Are they observing us wondering what kind of people we are and if they made the right choice sending theses amazing children to live with us.

I'm also worried that once the Foster Mother's meet us will they think we are doing a good job with the boys? Do they get the pictures and letters I have been sending every year since they have been with us.
Will they think I'm doing a good enough job? Am I doing a good enough job?